Change Is Scary!
By Jim Fannin
Change is an absolute and it impacts all of us. The need to change arrived on my doorstep within the last seven days. I was in the Zone as I received details about the following situations, conditions and circumstances of a few prospects, clients and friends.
- He was a dominant college golfer. He was one of the favorites to win at every tournament. Upon graduation he was excited to turn pro and go for it. Now after several months of forced change (graduation) he has found himself with self-doubt, low discipline, anxiety and indecision. This is a former Zone performer that dreamed of professional golf domination but finds himself further away mentally from actually making it a reality. Change and the belief he has to change have him concerned and scared for his future.
- She loved her son with all her heart. This proud Mom thought of him every day since his birth. With his tragic death in an auto accident, she has become despondent and has stated many times to family and friends, “I wish I was dead.” Heartbreaking change did this. Cancer has now entered her body and another change must be made to prevent manifesting her death wish.
- He was a top draft choice and the league had high hopes. Injuries have plagued him and quality minutes on the NBA hardwood are shrinking. Infrequently seeing his wife and kids due to the life of a pro baller has him alone in strange hotel rooms pondering his fate. Rumors, gossip and hearsay of trades and even relegation to the D-League are daily occurrences. Now he is forcing his game and his results reflect this tension.
- He has two grown children, a lovely successful wife and a very good job. However, he is not satisfied with his lot in life. He feels he has settled on the home front and his job appears to be a dead end line. He wants change. Create a consulting business? Divorce? Help his wife change? Complete a total life makeover? Many options and many obstacles are in his windshield view.
Commitment to change is the first step on the Bridge of Change
- Divorce has finally freed her from a challenging and abusive marriage. With two young children in her custody, a high-pressure job and a body weight issue, she knows another major change must occur. What does she do? What advice does she need? She is at the Bridge of Change and she feels a time crunch to cross it. This self-inflicted pressure has her currently stymied, especially after the energy drain from her divorce.
- His non-amicable split with a business partner has left him bitter. The former “biz buddy” took clients, business plan and a chunk of his confidence, relaxation and enjoyment. They are now fierce competitors and adversaries in the same industry and marketing footprint. As a lone entrepreneur he knows positive change is mandatory.
All of the above men and women are approaching the scary bridge of change
There are over 320 million Americans. A few know what they want in their life and most know what they don’t want. All will change with every passing day. Some will direct positive change and others will succumb to the negative change of depression, worry and despair.
Eventually all will cross the Bridge of Change
Some will fight change and refuse to cross. Others will crawl across. Numerous ones need to be pushed. Several need to be carried. Many walk across and occasionally look down with trepidation. A rare few are ready and they sprint across with a narrow, purposeful calm focus.
Prepare to change. When you arrive at the Bridge of Change get prepared to cross. Know it’s okay to be “screwed up” for a short transition period, especially if change is forced. Avoid alcohol or drugs. This short-term placation will not last and this crutch will keep you away from realizing your dreams. Seek a support team of friends, family and advisors. Listen. Filter and extract what’s beneficial for you. Take a major break (if possible) if the change needed is formidable. Go somewhere you’ve never been (hopefully nice and sunny). If travel is not possible do something that takes you out of the norm.
Ready to cross the Bridge of Change?
First…relax…smile to yourself and commit to change regardless of its difficulty or challenge. Accept your current circumstance, condition or situation and know you will be okay. “I am okay!” you think to yourself. Accelerate this affirmation to “I’m awesome!” Avoid shoulda’, coulda’, and shoulda’ self-statements. Stay out of the past, as positive change does not reside here.
Now let’s get going! Initially, change takes place in your mind. Once embedded with repetition, it grows by the day until physical manifestation arrives.
Place a well-defined picture in your mind of what you want. This is your new vision. It is on the other side of the Bridge of Change. See it there. Make it simple, positive and mentally replicable.
See this vision in finished state every night for seven days within the last 30-minutes before sleep
This visualization takes no more than 90-seconds, although you can repeat as much as you want. During the day relax and breathe. Go about your routines. Smile a lot and get others to smile back. Think about what you think about and keep it positive. In any down time, read or watch anything positive that interests or entertains you.
After seven days change will accelerate. Embrace it. Take one step at a time. Chin up (don’t look down). Breathe. Laugh (for no reason). Play music as a “change” soundtrack. Know that what you have can get you across the bridge.
We all have different visions and challenges and positive change is needed to make it real. Get across the Bridge of Change and finally realize your genuine, authentic best self.
Stay in the Zone!